April 30.
8.02pm.

Here's what I wore to school today and also how I look like now, in case you guys were wondering. From the picture, you can conclude that Louise is capable of making skinny jeans not look like skinny jeans.

/edit
10.16pm.

Yayyyy I just got good news, bus rides are gonna be free till next Tuesday (because of the melted highway!)!!! That means I get to save half of my allowance (:


And you, I know you're reading this,
I love you. (:

April 29.
5.37pm.

I sprayed on my old scent today and I got reminded of everything in the past. (Bad move) I've decided to change some things and move on in life since I'm the only one who's still living in the happy and melanchonic days of Singapore. I am moving on, and yes, life will be better. All I need is to toughen up abit and harden certain parts of me(like I mentioned in previous post, just not in english). Go figures which part/s.

I just came back from Vacaville, and the factory outlet there is my new favorite shopping place. Didn't get much today though, just a pair of skinnys(my first!) and a sweater from Guess. Quite a surprise cause like I said, I don't normally buy clothes when the folks are around. I saw a group of Singaporeans today, I know cos they were loudly conversing in Singlish. Mom and I had a good laugh.

I shall spend less time online(one of the changes I'm gonna carry out) because being online will only drag me back in time and put me in a state that I don't want to be in anymore. I'm leaving now to spend quality and happy time with my school textbooks.

/edit

11.35pm.

My productivity rate is getting better, my concentration span is more than 3 hours.

Anyway, I just read that a bridge nearby,which we took a couple of weeks back, melted. LOL. Sounds funny, but I don't know why its making things gloomy. I'm in the mood for emo songs and 'Victims of love' is playing over and over again.

I'm off to work out and strengthen my biceps.

April 29.
10.04am.

I'm off to Sacramento again today, we're going shopping!(doubt I'll get anything though, like what's new right.) Anyway anyway, the dad is flying to Tapei for a week and a half and omg pure bliss. On the downside, I'm gonna have to take 6 buses in total everytime I go to school since mom still can't drive. I'll be arriving home at around 10 (classes end at 7).

Other than that, my long hair's gone and I think I look a little less fat.

No more!

Whoooo hello goodlookin'
-.-"

-
tumigas na ang puso ko.

Its morning now so I'm happily singing 'What becomes of the broken hearted' loudy. My parents think I'm disturbed.

April 28.
11.43pm.

My life's getting more and more interesting. I spend at least 3 hours everyday with my school books. (Note : There isn't any sarcasm in the last two paragraphs.)

And its almost midnight right now and all I wanna do is jump around in the sitting room (its where I'm at now) and scream, ' Give me something to believe in cause I don't believe in you anymore anymore........'. Maroon 5's Make Me Wonder, for you. Haha nice song and I'm really tempted to blast music and just make noise.

Someone just reminded me of alcohol, I think that would fit perfectly with my mood and urge to jump around at home right now. I think I'll just hum the words in my little corner in the sitting room.

April 28.
8.46pm.

another reason to hate homosexuals -

Virginia Tech Mass Murderer, Cho Seung-Hui was a gay man.

Top pyschiatrist experts say the madman's frustration over his sexuality was the reason he exploded in fury to the world. - GLOBE magazine.

Lalalalala. My life = Anatomy & Pysiology books.
That's new.

April 16.
8.25pm.

Mannnnnn, school SUCKED. I think my school's screwed up, I wasted a day at school. Administration totally allowed 60+ people to sign up for the class when there was only supposed to be 30. So picture around 65 people inside a small tiny classroom waiting for 1 stupid lecturer. We waited for 45mins just to be told that only 30 people were allowed in the class, and that the other 30 would come on other days. Since the admin didn't separate people in the 'first come first served' way, 30 people had to volunteer to come on another schedule. Like wth? We spent another 20mins just getting 30 people to volunteer for the other slot. Class ended after all that was settled and a 5 minute briefing was made. So in other words, I travelled 4 hours to and from school just to attend a five minute briefing. How cool is that? Sheesh.

Another thing, remember there were around 65 peeps in class? The class had around 30 chairs only, and there was one chair beside me which was unoccupied. It stayed unoccupied till the end, even though around 30 peeps were standing. Now tell me if I'm right to say that no one wanted to sit beside me? And just like I expected man, I'm the absolute youngest one in the class. The nearest to my age group was this big group of India Indian girls/guys and since they had such a big gang, they don't need to talk to anyone else from their age group, from outside their group. No one talked to me for the whole hour or so that I was there. Wow.

Ok, enough of that. I gotta say this, CHERISH YEW is damn sweet please! She called me in the morning while she was on the way to class, just to wish me all the best and to have a good day. Awwwwww! So sweet (: I love you bro! You brightened up my day (:

April 15.
8.07pm.

I'm tired and I'm dreading the first day of class which starts tomorrow. Shall keep it short.

Things I did today:

- Drove to San Francisco.
- Went to Pier 39.
- Ate seafood.
- Saw the Golden Gate Bridge, Oakland Bridge, Alcatraz Prison, from afar.
- Saw lots and lots of gay/lesbian couples (what can i say man, its the biggest GLBT nation in the country!)
- Saw tall buildings ( the last tall building i've seen was the HDBs back in singapore?)
- Went for a 2-hour cruise which went under the Golden Gate Bridge and around Alcatraz.
- Sat in the same cruise with a gay trio? (they had each others' arms around each other?)
- Saw seals.
- Was stuck in the evening traffic of the city.
- Saw lots of hobos/bums in San Francisco.

Sum it up, San Francisco = iLOVE!
(shall post pictures soon)

I made a friend! (HAHA) He's this gay filipino guy who works at Subway, his name is Luiqi(however that's spelled) and he thought I was Japanese. The only reason I spoke to him though was because he had this super cute good looking filipino workmate. Omg i'm looking at guys! But yeah, the guy's cute and Luiqi's friendly. I bet I'll go back to visit him when I go to the mall (hopefully when that time comes, he still works there). hahaha. I've been wanting a gay friend ever since I came here. hahaha.

Anyway, I'm very tired and I'm really dreading classes tomorrow. Gawd, pls pray that I don't get lost or take the wrong bus(es) or be late for class.

Friday the 13th.
7.31pm.

Good news : I washed everyone's laundry today! (All five loads of them!)
Bad(and funny)news : I shrunked mom's clothes. They became half their size.

I think I make a good wife. I can cook (rice), clean, do laundry and iron clothes! (:
I shall ban shrinkable clothes in my home next time.

April 12.
10.09pm.

Die larh die larh die LARHHHHH.
I got to see some of my 'going-to-be' classmates today and DIE LARHHHH they all look so goddamn freaking O-L-D k! Like 'yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died'. HAHA ok lame. But die larh they're so oldddddddd and they gave me funny looks !! shit shit shit i have a feeling i'm gonna hate school. Like what happened to the Louise who was so eager to go school months before??

And I calculated. The time I take to travel back and forth (approx. 4hrs, nothing less) is longer than my class itself! And the bus seats are plastic laaaaaa. My ass is so gonna hurt ): but then again, friction works which causes wear and tear, OMG I FOUND A WAY TO LOSE MY FAAAAAAT ASSSS! bwahahahaha.

okay. please disregard this post.
i miss singapore ):

I'm so fat, so fat, so FAT.
I shall show you people how fat and ugly I am, then you all can go and make up your own 'yo louise so fat and so ugly jokes'.

OMG I'M SO FAT AND UGLY, EVEN I WOULDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH MYSELF ANYMORE! i think i scared away all my potential admirers (if any, highly doubt so) and i think my girlfriend got turned off. even i am super duper turned off with myself. ughhhhhhh

I hope I redeem myself with this. LOL.

April 10.
12.06am.

If you hold your anger, it will kill your happiness.
- Gullah Proverb

April 8.
11.10pm.

En route to Tahoe.

Snow = Cold? You're wrong.

Lake Tahoe

So we've been to Tahoe in Winter (2003) and Spring, we're going boating in the lake in the Summer. Next week, Yosemite! And maybe if I don't go back (wherever) this December, I might be able to join them for the cross country trip ( 4 weeks on the road, East Coast to West Coast, baby!).

-

Not ready to make nice.

Why should I?

April 7.
12.50pm.

I'm off to Sacramento, won't be back till Monday. Phone and laptop's gonna be left at home.

Goodbye.

10.36pm

To hell with reputation, to hell with being the good person. I'll fuck everything up as and when I like, why shouldn't I anyway? Even when one doesn't want things to fuck up, one way or another it still ends up as a gigantic pile of fuck.

I've left that place anyway, I can just leave everything as fucked as it is.

April 6.
9.25pm.

I need to go on a short holiday. Anywhere, just away from civilisation, away from anything that can communicate. I hope my parent's friends' call so that the trip to Lake Tahoe this weekend would come true. Or maybe mom and I can get the other three to go camping up at Yosemite. I need to get away, I don't even mind camping alone.

I'm going crazy down here. Today I chatted with a 31 y/o malaysian bung from new york. Refreshing, I should talk to more strangers. They just might help me find myself. Maybe, hopefully.

I fasted today, first time!

Good Friday.
morning.


Queen sang that if you love too much, you will die.

I'm going to fast since its Good Friday. I just went around the house shaking my fingers at everyone because they ate meat. It's not even lunch time but I must admit I'm quite hungry (blank face). I think I will not eat but I will drink 20 gallons of water.

April 4.
9.49pm.

Someone's gonna be home today!! So happy so happy so happy!! (happy ((idiotic)) face).

-

Can someone pls pls pls tell me how to effectively lose face fats? I don't even wanna take pictures anymore (sad face)

April 3.
9.17pm.

I MIGHT be starting class on the 16th this month. By the looks of my transcript evaluation, I do not have enough credits in Anatomy & Physiology and General Pyschology, to enrol. Which means I'll have to take them up before term starts and the earliest and latest slots I can take starts on the 16th.

I'm finally gonna be interacting with people! I might start having a life soon. But why the mixed feelings I'm experiencing? Part of me is dreading the call that may come from the school anyday now, asking me to sign up for the two subjects listed above. Gawd, I wish I was back in Singapore. But then again, I don't wanna start in year 1 and watch my old classmates in year 2.

Gawd. Life sucks.
I miss Sarah ):

April 2.
4.07pm.

Day one, I wake up at noon feeling something amiss. What more when I wake up tomorrow and the day after? I hope she slept well last night. It's only 7.08am there and I think they're already up and hiking. Sigh, dear God please take care of my baby.

I NEED to consume alcohol. I need to burn my lungs and destroy my liver.

April 2.
12.25am.

Here's another one from craigslist, since I'm so so super bored.

Why I love America
1. I can be racist
2. I can be a pedophile
3. I can be in the closet or on the DL
4. I can watch people fucking animals
5. I can be a polygamist 6. I can be a republican (and still fuck young boys)
7. I can hate Arabs (simple because you can't hate blacks, Latins, gays, Indians, or "other" groups, so hating Arabs is the latest craze)
8. I can be a christian and LOVE WAR,KILLING, RAPE, TORTURE - YES, Jesus loved to kill, rape his apostles and he even waged war on Rome!!!
9. I can always blame a mexican for all the fuck ups in my life (including the time tmy mother made me watch her fuck some guy for money)
10. I can shoot a gun and drink beer! I LOVE AMERICA

-

Another one added to my collection of private entries. I almost revealed all my deepest secrets to craigslist. I typed everything out but chickened out last minute because I realised my deepest secrets aren't even safe on the hands of anonymous people. I guess they'll never be safe anywhere, they're meant to be bottled up and kept in me.

April 1
10.03pm.

Sigh. Sarah's gonna be away for four days and I'm already missing her like zomg crazy! Poor poor sweetheart, gonna be stuck in the jungles(?) of Kuantan with a giant backpack and cave-men looking guys. How oh how is she gonna survive! She doesn't know a thing about pitching tents and hiking, oh God she doesn't even exercise! Sigh sigh sigh. I hope she gets back fast, and safe. I hope there aren't any leeches to suck her blood. I wish I was there to carry her backpack and her. Sigh, I wish she has fun. I wish I was there to have sex in the tent with her. I miss my girlfriend ):

(but then again, quite good that she went. at least she knows what to expect when i wanna go camping/hiking in future. i mean who else to go with me when i'm old and married. of course its only Sarah!)

Anyway, I miss my girlfriend so much, I'm quite lonely. Even my bestfriend Jena is away and busy looking at boys back in my country. I miss Jenaaaaa. And I'm on hiatus from MSN, so now I'm bored.

I'm so bored I'm rambling again down here. Look what I found on craigslist, I find it hilarious! HAHAHA.

I'M A MARRIED WOMAN TO A WONDERFUL MAN, LAST NIGHT WE HAD PRETTY DARN GOOD SEX! WELL I'M PRETTY SAD RIGHT NOW. PLEASE TELL ME IF I'M WRONG. I ACCIDENTLY FARTED OUT LOUND WHILE HE WAS GOING DOWN ON ME. I GUESS IT FELT SO GOOD THAT WHEN I HAD AN ORGASM, IT SLIPPED OUT IN HIS FACE!. I FEEL SO BAD. HE IS NOT SPEAKING TO ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THIS PROBLEM? PLEASE, I NEED SOME HELP!! -LEAKY SPHINCTER.

HAHAHAAHA. omg i'm so bored.