I wish you could appreciate me for the things that I do, instead of faulting me for the things that I don't.
Because the things I do have already happened; And that things I don't, hasn't happened yet. You want an extra spice? You have to learn not to expect it..

And I told myself that this week was going to be just happy...
But of course, two has to clap hands for it to happen.

"What I'm feeling for you isn't just some transient feeling that would just disappear when I wake up one random day. It isn't the temporary crush I get on random people that would only be replaced when another comes along. It isn't anywhere near that, the depth of what I feel for you surpasses all of those shallow feelings; it's real, very real."

You claim that I'm not sweet anymore, that I used to but not these days. How do you define sweetness my love? How was it that I used to be sweet before but I'm nowhere being sweet these days? Because I've been near to being consistent to being myself ever since I got to know you. You may have thought I was sweet before because I wrote how I felt about you in here. But isn't that merely putting into words the things that I'm feeling for you? If that's how you define being sweet, is it not what I do whenever I text you, when I send you a message and tell you what I feel about you. Aren't the two things similar although through different mediums?

I know I don't write here as much as I used to do one year ago. But one year ago, we didn't communicate much through text messaging either. What I could have written here, they've all been put into words and transmitted over the phone. What I feel for you, they've all been sent to you personally instead of writing them in here for you to come read.

You claim that I'm not sweet anymore. Maybe I was never sweet in the first place :(

Maybe my sweetness cannot reach the level of sweetness you're needing. Or maybe what I define as sweet may be different from what your definition may be. But I try. I just don't know the effort that you're looking for :(
-

It's funny though, that after all that has happened, those feelings that I had since August last year, are still true. After the separation, and the countless of fights we've been having; after all the times of feeling hopeless and not knowing how to move forward, after all the letdowns and the hurtful words - nothing has been strong enough to reach the depth of my loving for you. Not one of those has lessened that pool of love I have for you that is so deeply rooted in me. Nothing has polluted it. I still love you the same way I did the first day it dawned on me that not only liked you, but loved you as well. Nothing.

Currently playing Step Up 3's soundtrack on replay. I really wished you were watching the movie with me. Hopefully you'd let me watch it with you.

I miss you so much.
4 days to get through; it seems like I haven't seen and spoken to you since forever.

I wish I was around.
That way:

- I'd be around to drive you where ever you want, no matter how far, at any time of the day.
- you wouldn't have to be worrying about your car, or about not having one, or about having to get money/loan in order to get a new car.
- that, and many other reasons that could help us get better in our relationship.

The struggles of being far apart.
Sigh. I'm not giving up. I can't give up on you.
I don't ever want to.

We're fighting because you think I don't appreciate how much you care about my education which I care about too :(

I wanted to surprise you at work today before I headed back to Davis, but you got me first. Nonetheless, it was really nice seeing you on a Sunday (even though you were in the middle of work and I only got to sit beside you while you ate lunch with Jiezel). I wish I could be around to drop you lunch or a snack every day that you were working. Work's being a big B for you right now, and the least I could do is give your pretty face a little smile, even just for awhile, when you see me visiting you with lunch in my hand. If only I lived closer...

Last week at the fair with you, that was super duper fun! Although its a far cry from Disneyland which I've been wanting to go to with you for the past months, I still had a really good time that evening at the fair with you. I love doing such things with you, going to such places. I don't know why, but I think that if I was an observer of us from afar, I'd think we're pretty sweet. Like old couples :) I want things to remain like that with you and me. The feeling of being out with you somewhere and just feeling sweet about us. What gluttons we were, eating and eating and eating :)) I wish I could have gotten you a piglet though; the way you lit up and got so happy just seeing those baby piglets... it made me smile to myself knowing that you were really happy.

I'm trying to save up for our Disneyland trip. I really hope it pulls through real soon. I want to give you a magical experience while you're with me :) I wanna see that smile of yours that brightens up your whole face when you get to experience Disneyland. Lets hope I land myself a job soon, I can't wait for Disneyland already!
-

You're sleeping right now. I'm supposed to be sleeping too but I just felt like coming here to write for awhile since I'm missing you so much and I can't sleep (yet). I'm gonna stop now though and join you :) Please don't be mad at me?